Today we’re playing devil’s advocate a little bit with authenticity and talking about the idea that you don’t have to show every aspect of your life for the sake of *authenticity*. Maybe the more boundaries we draw around our business, the more room we create to live a more full and honest life.
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Full Episode Transcription:
Hi, my name is CarliAnna, and you’re listening to another episode of C-E-Over it. Welcome to today’s episode, today is a Wednesday, which is not a day that I usually record my podcasts, especially because we have our 10kgg calls today. But this idea that I have in my head is just absolutely plaguing me and is just insisting that I throw it out there. So we’re recording today, a day early, because I guess I have some important things to say, well see, I kind of feel like I’m brain-dumping a bunch of slash. I feel like I’m brain-dumping slightly undeveloped ideas onto guys, but I feel like if I don’t talk about it, now it’s going to leave me and go somewhere else. So today we are going to be talking about being chronically online as a business owner, and how to be authentic in your business without being chronically online and still being able to like disassociate from it because I’ve had a lot of thoughts on this. Because I feel like I’ve stepped away from my business quite a bit in the past here. And my feelings and thoughts around how personalized I want my business to be, has really, really shifted and changed. And one of our most popular podcasts ever is the one with m&r when we talked about having authenticity in your business. And so I feel like this is kind of like a part two to the conversation that we had two years ago, kind of like what are my new thoughts around this? How has that changed?
So yeah, um, let’s see, let’s get into but of course, as always, before we do we are going to talk about the snacks and tracks what have I been listening to slash reading slash eating slash drinking while you’ve been working and I’ve got a lot for you guys. Okay. Lots of Bridgerton historical romance vibes for you guys. Because I’ve got I’ve got two little historical romances for you guys. One is a book tested Dare wrote she’s written a bunch of books, I haven’t read all of them. The only one that I feel like I’ve actually read is the one that I’m going to show you guys. It’s called what is it called? What is a coffee
now we’re going to be able to find it. The Duchess deal, that’s what it’s called, is really good. It’s literally like the plot of Bridgerton in a different story, which I know you’re like, how does that make sense? Like the plot is the story. But if you like Bridgerton I can like almost 95% Say with accuracy that you are going to really like the Duchess still It feels so similar. It’s like a marriage of convenience, grumpy, and sunshine. How do I put this ever so lightly? There’s like a weird sex stigma with the guy too. And so like it just feels very very Bridgerton I read it in literally 12 hours. It’s a very fast and easy read. It’s pretty sexy if I do say so myself. So do be warned. It’s about a seven-hour audiobook and literally, I kid you not I woke up started it and I did not stop it for the rest of the day. I finished it like that night it was so just gripping. So if you are in a really big book slump and you’re just really wanting a romantic good story. This is going to be your girl. She’s your gal. Take her up on a hike. Listen to her. She’s amazing. You will not be disappointed. Nope.
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Because the cover is absolutely horrendous. It is a crime against all creative aspects of humanity. It’s disgusting. So please don’t look at the cover and be like Carli, I thought you loved us. I do, read the book. Trust me. So that’s my first book recommendation. And then my second show recommendation. I just have so many guys I have to keep you updated. Is the show called Sanditon I know what a horrible name Sanditon it’s not as cool as Bridgerton. Or like, have you guys read the book Eat and Brooke I love that. You know what I mean? There are so many cool British names that you could do for historical romance. And if it’s the name Sanditon like, why does that sound like a girl who gets bullied in high school? Not that I would ever condone bullying nor that you know what I mean. The like it just is stupid like asking for stupid. I don’t like it. But the show I really, really, really like, it’s it’s not so much like Bridgerton It’s a little bit more like Pride and Prejudice much more like Pride and Prejudice. It’s like these people hate each other like angsty bromance do James is the love interest, by the way, so if that doesn’t sell you on watching it, you should go watch it. It’s free on Amazon too. So I watched it when I was like nine months pregnant again, I like binge the whole show because I was nine months pregnant. And like my day or two, it was really good. Really, really good. 10 out of 10 very solid but I will say though, do not watch the second season. I’m going to spoil for you right now because this does not really spoil anything. Honestly, that happens in the first season. If you really truly do not want to be spoiled forever. I don’t know if this is again not really a spoiler it just feels like the plot writers were like we actually can’t get Theo James back. So we’re going to kill him off like literally the first episode of the second season. They kill him off. Like so freaking randomly. You’re just like, okay, so why don’t you just tell us that you couldn’t get the audience back? It’s so stupid. And I tried to keep watching to see like what the new love interest was gonna be like and he was so ridiculously dumb. So let you like, Huh? So be warned. Only watch the first season. It was really good, though.
Snacks. What have I been snacking on? I’ve been making a new protein shake. You guys like so sick of me talking about like protein macro stuff? I know. I know. I’m sorry. I decided I’m going to be running a marathon this fall Yeah, that’s for another day. So I’m really trying to like to gain muscle and like be okay running 26 freakin miles without dying. So yeah, sorry prepared to be sick of me on that. But these products this protein shake is really really good. Of course, cleans the blades, frickin sponsors me I love clean, simple eats I follow every single one of their protein shake recipes. They just have such creative, innovative protein shakes that don’t use like protein shakes. They taste like milkshakes are so good. And this one that I have been loving recently. I guess there are two actually, there’s a pumpkin chocolate chip one that I use with the Costco pumpkin protein powder. Oh baby, it was so good. Like literally I went back to Costco and I bought four more containers of that pumpkin protein powder because I was like I will be eating this pumpkin this pumpkin protein shake all year round. But another one like when I rant because you have to actually put like some pumpkin puree in that shake. And when I run out some pumpkin puree I also put her cash while I can’t talk. I started making this peanut butter Oreo protein shake and oh that is the one I am obsessed with. You like put Oreos in it. You put some like Greek yogurt in it. And then I have this like chocolate peanut butter protein powder that I put in my shake. And it is so good guys. I’m serious. It tastes like a frickin milkshake. It I look forward to it every single morning. I make it I love it. I even drink it. And even when it’s like four degrees out, I’m still drinking it because it’s so good. So that is my snack some tracks for this week.
Now let’s go into a little update and boy do I ever have the update for you guys and all my life. I feel like my life has been absolutely insane. Our life has kind of an upheaval, like who knows where we’re going to be living in three months because we don’t know we’re going to be moving in the next year, we just have absolutely no idea where it’s going to be where we’re going to be moving. So Lyden randomly got this opportunity to potentially be moving and transferred up to Idaho. Which, if you’re not aware, Idaho is like the dream place we want to live. Like that has always been our number one but because of lightens job, we’ve never been able to go up there and so we bought the land that we have now that we’ve always been wanting to build on that around this area. Because we’re like, okay, you know, we’re gonna stay here. We’re gonna make it beautiful. We’re going to make it work. Bla bla. But we always secretly wanted to go to Idaho still just was never really an option. Um, it’s but we, you know, it wasn’t an option. So we’re like, hey, put that out of our minds, whatever. And so we bought the land, but then the land that we bought, they were like, We’re gonna make this like a dream home. But we were not able to but we bought it a year ago, we still have not been able to build on it because of the drought that’s happening in Utah. That whole entire valley nobody can build on it, like they just have are holding all of the water rights for the entire valley. So we’re freaking stuck just sitting on this land in a stupid interest rate. keeps growing. And we’re like, cool. Like, everyone just nothing is working out for where we want to live. So we’ve been set on that land for a year, but now randomly like we might frickin be moving to Idaho because Leyden interviewed for the transfer up to Idaho like Monday. And it is now Wednesday. And they told us that they were going to be telling us their decision by the end of this week or early next. So the next time I record guys, I will know whether or not we’re moving to Idaho or stay here.
Either way, I’m going to cry when we know that decision, because I don’t know this just kind of feels like a momentous occasion, a little moment in our lives that feels like a lot of built-up because I feel like for the past, like seven or eight years, we’ve been living in Utah haven’t been loving it. It just has never felt like home do you want I mean, like, everything has always been temporary, we’re living, which I’m so grateful for we’re living in 1000 square foot home. I’m very, very grateful for the home that we have. But it, it’s so obvious that we’ve grown out of it. Like, my sister even came over to our house last week, and she like walks in her room. And she’s just like, you guys need a new house so bad. Like, it’s so obvious that we just do not fit here, like nothing fits anywhere. And again, like I’m very grateful for it. But I think it’s just like, time for it to move on. And we need a place that fits us more now. And so whether that’s going to be still in Utah, like if we don’t get that transfer great, or whether that’s going to be in Idaho, I feel like this is kind of like our last effort to actually try to get up to Idaho. And if we don’t get up to Idaho, that just means even more amazing things are going to be happening here in Utah, and I’m excited for that, too.
So oh, just, you know, just anxiety like building up, you know, when you like to send a proposal and you’re like, what are they gonna say I have no idea or the next three months of my life gonna be with these people. I don’t know, it just it feels like so much tied-up energy that I can’t let go of and I’m a little exhausted from it, and I can align. So that has been my personal life up to date. Oh, also, another smaller business update, we are slash add, I guess like, I want to let you guys know, we are creating our scale program inside of 10k GG it is starting March 1, we have no idea this is going to be a separate program or if it’s going to be a different track inside of 10k GG once it’s completed. But this first time that we’re doing it starting on March 1, it’s going to be totally live. And we’re going to be doing it just as like a regular portion of 10k GG so if you are wanting to if you’re the type of person who’s trying to go from like freelancer to CEO, you’re thinking about hiring you’re wanting to like scale up and you’re wanting to scale out you’re worried you know, you’re the type of person who’s like not type of person but like your business is in a spot where you’re like, What do I do with my finances? Like I feel like I need to be more serious about investments like I need to be thinking about payroll, how do we manage the team just again all those like see Oh, questions that’s what our skill program is going to be I am so freakin excited for it. We brought in Abby who is eight AP so loot genius. She’s guys she’s coming on the podcast soon. But we brought her on as a consultant inside 10 kg she is the person in my business who literally is my right hand she gets everything done in my business. I’m the person who will come up with big ideas and I’m like this is what I want to do and I am done for them. No, I’m not done with that. It’s a really important role. But um you know I just like have the all these crazy ideas and Abby’s the one who actually makes things happen she puts it into a system she like hands it off to our team to make sure everyone gets it done in an organized way. She trains our team she hires our team. She does our all of our launch planning and launch organization like literally she is the manager of our business and so to have her as a resource for all of our 10 Kijiji students I’m just really really excited for because she brings in so much expertise in an area that I don’t have. She’s even going to be hosting like a bonus call just about systems just about team management. So people can like actually ask her it’s like having you get access to my team. It’s just really cool and I’m excited about that. So if you want to get started and in that program, join 10kgg, you can go apply before March 1. That’s when again the program starts and after we do this live bait around. Like I said I don’t really know what the plans are going to be for it. All I know is that this is going to likely be an 8000 or $10,000 extension like the price will be going up. This is again our bait around so if you want to get in on it while the price is still just 5k Like, please get in on it. Now, if you have any questions, let me know.
I will tell you fully and honestly if I feel like you’re a good fit for this thing we have going on. So I’m really excited. This is a program I’ve been wanting to create for years. And I feel like we’re finally in a place where we can do it. And I just I haven’t been in like, a, like a creative mode and a long time. Do you mean like creating courses or like, new material and so this is it’s a fun new little era. For me to enter. I’m in my education era again. It’s fun. Okay, let’s get into today. Today’s topic. Now, as a little precursor for today’s topic, a little warning, if you will, if you okay, I’m gonna say if you’re listening to your kids, with your kids, I just bleep this out. I guess. If you’re a total dickhead, stop listening right now because I know there’s gonna be some dickhead that’s going to be listening to this and totally just take what I’m saying and use it in the completely wrong way and manipulate the entire industry to be stupid and dumb and use it to their advantage. So if you’re the type of person who doesn’t actually care about what you do with your business, and make sure it’s actually having an impact, don’t listen to this because you don’t need this advice. You need to like to go touch grass or something.
Okay. Now, back to you lovely ladies, I don’t think anyone would be listening that is but like, I just feel like I have to give that little warning, right? Like, I just could see someone like totally taking this advice and using it the completely wrong way to like, put out so much misinformation and stupidness out there. So okay, let’s start off with story how I got here. I you guys know, you guys know, after I had my third baby Evaletta. Last July, I felt a lot of distance in my business because there’s just something weird that like snapped within me. Like, I feel like all of a sudden, so many things opened up and priorities got aligned for me, like I saw this amazing, beautiful child. And I was like, I have so much joy and love for her. And I want to like spend time with her. And I want to like create motherly things. For her. It was like the weirdest feeling because I’ve never felt like a motherly type of person. And I feel like all of a sudden with my third child, not that I don’t love my other two kids, I love them so much. It was just weird. This new sense of self that was born along with my child, I felt like oh my gosh, I am a mom and I love being a mom and I want to do more mom things like maybe potentially even homeschooling now I’m like, I just want to be, you know, more involved as mom, I don’t know. And for a while, and I think even up until like, this year, I felt a lot of guilt around that. Because I was like, you know, I, I have always said that, like, I love my business. And I still do I love my business so much. But it’s not my top priority anymore. And I don’t know why I felt guilty about the fact that like, I want to be working less. You only mean like, I want to be stepping out of my business because I love it. And it makes it sound like I don’t love it. But I but I do. And I feel like what happened is and what keeps happening in my business is that the more successful my business and the more money that it makes, I feel like the more opportunity for me to be able to open up and step into my true self like actually comes to me because the more money you have, we always want like, demonize money and be like, Oh my gosh, because you’re a business owner and you’re trying to get money like you must be a horrible inauthentic being and business.
And it’s like, no, I want money in my business. And that’s okay like having those desires is completely human. Again, that’s a whole you, we have a whole episode on that. But having that money I feel like has also allowed me to step into being the most authentic version of myself, and being the most authentic version of myself doesn’t always involve my business. And, again, that was really, really hard for me to realize that, like, I have other hobbies, and that I want to pursue more seriously, like, again, I’m gonna be running a marathon this year. And no, I’m not going to monetize those hobbies. I’m not going to try and make my whole brand about fitness and stuff. Like it’s okay just to have hobbies and to be able to explore myself and my hobbies, beyond my business because like when I first started out my business, like, I’m so embarrassed about this, but people would literally ask me like, What do you want to do for fun? And I was like, I love working like, he is like that is so gross and annoying. Like, I feel like that’s such pygmy gross energy. Like I love working. It’s like do you do you really know. Nobody loves working like, of course I love my job, but would I rather be working? or would I rather be with my kids? Would I rather be working or would I rather be traveling, would I rather be working? or would I rather like be hanging out with chickens in my backyard or something? Do you know what I mean? Like, we can still love our job and love other things more. And and now my personality is just like diversifying and finding new hobbies and like healthier things that are filling that void, that my business was filling, because like I was so in survival mode at the beginning of my business that like literally my entire personality, every thought, and being in my head was like, How can I use this in my business? Like, how can I post about this online and it was like, kind of going to the chronically online? Like, I felt like I was so chronically online, because my business was in survival mode. I was like, posting all the time, how can I relate this back to my business? How can I be a better business person?
And now my brain is like, in a little bit of a safer place. And I’ve had to, like tell my brain that like, it’s okay to not be thinking about my business all time, all the time. And not to take everything in my business. So freakin seriously, every post so seriously, just because I’m not thinking how are you? My life is here to make. Well, my life is here to have fun, to make memories to help my kids to help those around me, there is a purpose in my life outside of my business. And my business, my business is placed in my life is very, very, very, very first is to take care of my family and the employees and their families. That is the very first fricking role and job of my business. And that’s okay, that’s not a horrible thing, then I’m trying to take care of ourselves before we try and take care of anyone else. And so we need that money to take care of ourselves. So then we can take care of others. And so like, I feel like so many times. I feel like so many times influences or businesses are looked at as inauthentic. Any time they try and make any type of money and trying to get that bag. And when that’s like not their first primary function in the first place, like, I’m going to be starting to take like ads and doing collabs from businesses. And we’ve been kind of like looking at doing this for the past year.
But for so long. I was like, oh, it’s not a company that I don’t 110% like us every single day in my life like there were good companies that were reaching out to me and wanting to do like TikTok clubs and stuff. But it was like, that’s not a company. I don’t use it every single day. But just because it’s not a company that I don’t use every single day, it doesn’t mean that one of my followers, that might not be a company that they use, you know like they’re paying for advertising, and I can advertise it, I can do my job to get that money to advertise their company, especially if it’s like, maybe again, not a company I’m using every single day, but like the values line up, it’s a good company, like, Yeah, I’m gonna get that back. I’m going to take care of myself and I’m going to take care of my employees. Like, I just think it’s completely okay in your business to do things that are solely for getting money, it is okay to want and to have your business be solely there. To get money. Like, I really don’t like genuinely think if I were to like to win the lottery tomorrow. Would I still be working just for fun? No, I wouldn’t like absolutely not. I wouldn’t be working if I didn’t have two which is again, a really weird concept that I would not have said five years ago. And for some people, you guys like holy cow, Carli, you’re such a pygmy annoying person. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. But I grew up in a workaholic family. And so to not have my entire identity to be around my work success. Like that’s hard. Again, again, I grew up like my mom has three master’s and is a professor, my dad has his Ph.D. and does tours around the world. It’s just crazy, like the work ethic my parents have had and I admire that deeply. But also like, I feel like I’ve had a lot of pressure to amount my personal success to my business and my work success.
I don’t know I was just, this whole conversation is just like linking to this podcast that I was listening to this morning, which I haven’t listened. to a podcast in a really long time, and I’m so glad I did. It was the what we said podcast with Jackie Marie, Chelsea Jade, and bad broadcast Maddie, and like, oh my gosh, I just related so hard to everything that they were saying because they’re talking about like Mikayla if you’re on tiktok, you know, like her potentially getting canceled and people just like being so freakin upset about this eyelash thing that she was doing like if you’re not aware like she did a L’Oreal ad. And at the end, you can like obviously see fake eyelashes, whether that was like a filter, or it was actual fake lashes. Who knows? Like the internet was like in a frickin turmoil over these fake eyelashes? And yes, like, you should be honest in your reviews and say like, were they real eyelashes? Yes. Like, I think as long as somebody was like, yeah, they were, you know, they Oh my gosh. Like somebody pointed out, like, oh my gosh, those are fake eyelashes. Okay, like, you’re like, That’s so dumb. Like, I think that’s all that needed to be said. But like the turmoil is just like in just absolute crazy sages like Jeffree Star came back and did it and I don’t know, I just feel like as business owners we take not want to say that.
And it’s like, you know what she was like, trying to like, get a paycheck. And I there’s nothing wrong with that. Like, yes, she was wrong for lying. But like, still, at the end of the day, like it’s not that serious. Like it’s freaking eyelashes go touch grass. And I think that’s kind of like where the chronically online and like business owners, I feel like shows up a lot is that we feel like, especially in the creative industry that like our businesses aren’t there to make money. And we’re like, oh, but we have to have these funnels. And we have to talk about things in this certain way. And I have to like, show myself in a perfect, you know, way, every single stage of the wave. And I can’t show up online unless it’s in this correct form. Do you know what I mean? And it’s like, oh, my gosh, like, no, your job is to make money and I genuinely don’t think that you can even make money. If you’re so freakin worried about every step that you post on social media, if everything has to be so freakin Correct. You’re like, oh my gosh, just like perfect. Like money. I genuinely believe like, money is not going to come no money and people are not going to be attracted to that to this, like scarcity of like, oh my gosh, what I’m saying the perfect thing. This is like no, just how freaking fun. And your business, your business is to be a business. Like, it is a business. It is a compartmentalized version of yourself. It is not your entire being it is a compartment of your life. And so when people comment on my, you know, business tech talks or whatever, and like he was like, okay, cool, you know, like one tiny little fact about me and you saw me for one tiny little second. This is another thing that they said on the podcast that I felt like so related with is that letter like? Like you’re basically just like seeing an active me online. And I was like, yes. Oh my gosh, that’s how I feel like, I feel like that’s how I can like to deal with these mean comments that are ever that I get on Tik Tok or an Instagram or people not liking me, it’s like, you know, that’s just like, a little compartment of my life that you’re seeing. It’s a little version of myself that I’m putting out on the internet. And if you don’t like that version, like that’s fine. It’s not for everyone and that’s cool, but like, I know me and myself have like, more depth than what you’re seeing in that one second on the internet.
Oh my gosh I don’t know I guess like what I’m saying is I just wish people would post more without being afraid to be canceled because they feel like their business is their identity. And I just want to let you know that your business isn’t your identity. If you do get counseled for saying something or doing something wrong, like which we’re all gonna say wrong things. I mean, don’t get me wrong. We’re humans that make mistakes. We’re all gonna say things wrong and I genuinely feel like your response and how you deal with that is way more important than you making those mistakes. So let yourself make those mistakes because however careful you are to not make them they’re still going to happen. It’s okay. I’m just live your freakin life. If you want to post it, post it if you don’t, don’t but Your business is there ultimately, to make money. I feel like I’ve said that over and over again. I’m like banging it into your heads now, but it’s just something that I feel like I’ve been thinking a lot this past year. And when I listened to that podcast this morning, it just clicked in my head. I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, there is a part of my life where I feel like I can finally be authentic in so many different ways, and being authentic and my business is gonna look different than being authentic in my fitness versus being authentic when I’m with my kids, like, there are so many different facets of me and it doesn’t have to all look the same and feel the same and that’s so okay. So if you’re feeling that way, I hope this is helpful. Again, this is just another ramble chat. I hope this is cool and helpful but think about anything else to say about this.
I guess the last thing I do want to end I’ll end with this is that money gives us the power to step into who we really truly are and to be more authentic. So if you feel inauthentic getting money and selling just remember that that money gives you options and money gives you freedom both of which are very very important to becoming into well into stepping into your like infinite potential. You have to have money to be the best version of yourself that might be something I get counseled for this whole podcast might be something like a council for began I’m just kind of like Effat these are thoughts that had been happening in my head and I feel like they’re real thoughts. And so we’re gonna put it out there and I hope you guys have a great rest of your day. I’ll see you next week!
April 27, 2023